Every year, without fail, I used to make the same promise to myself: “My birthday is in February, and I will not be obese when that day comes around.” It was a noble goal, but let’s just say my track record was less than stellar. I distinctly remember turning 55, 56, and then every year after that thinking, “This is the year!” But when February rolled around, I’d find myself cutting into a Costco birthday cake with the same waistline, or an even larger one, as the year before.
And here’s the kicker: Once February hit and I’d missed my target, I’d mentally throw in the towel for the entire year. “Well, hell, this year is shot. I’ll try again next year.” And off I’d go back to the comforting embrace of jellybeans, krimpets, and all my other sugary favorites. It wasn’t just a slip, it was an all-out sprint back into bad habits. I wasn’t just eating for comfort; I was eating for sport.
If you’re nodding along, thinking, “That sounds a lot like me,” you’re not alone. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that 40% of Americans over 60 are obese. That’s nearly half of us who have likely faced this mental tug-of-war, promising ourselves better health and falling into the same traps year after year. So why do we think this way? Why do we wait for some arbitrary date, a birthday, New Year’s Day, or even next Monday—to get back on track? Let’s dive into it.
The “All-or-Nothing” Mentality
One of the biggest culprits behind this mindset is the “all-or-nothing” mentality. Psychologists call this cognitive distortion “black-and-white thinking.” Essentially, if you’re not doing something perfectly, you feel like it’s not worth doing at all. This was me to a T. If I had one bad day, I’d decide the week was ruined. If I didn’t lose weight by my birthday, I’d write off the entire year.
It’s a lot like dropping your phone on the floor and saying, “Well, I guess I’ll just smash it with a hammer now.” It sounds ridiculous when you put it that way, doesn’t it? Yet that’s exactly what I was doing with my health goals.
The “Fresh Start” Fallacy
Another reason we think this way is the “fresh start effect.” Research from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania suggests that people are more likely to pursue goals after temporal landmarks, like the start of a new week, month, or year. These moments create a psychological “fresh slate,” making us feel like we can leave our past failures behind and start anew.
The problem is that when we miss these milestones, it’s easy to feel like we’ve lost our chance. I’d tell myself, “If I can’t do it by February, what’s the point?” But here’s the truth: You can start again any day of the week. Tuesday is just as good as Monday. March is just as good as January. Heck, you can start over at 3:47 PM on a random Thursday if you want to.
The Science of Habits
Our brains are hardwired to seek comfort and avoid discomfort, which is why breaking unhealthy habits can feel like swimming upstream. According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit, habits consist of three parts: a cue, a routine, and a reward. For me, the cue might have been stress or boredom, the routine was grabbing a snack, and the reward was the temporary joy of a sugar rush.
Changing these patterns requires awareness and consistency. Scientists suggest it takes anywhere from 21 to 66 days to form a new habit, depending on the complexity of the behavior. That means if you’re trying to replace “eating krimpets” with “eating carrots,” it’s going to take more than a couple of weeks for it to feel natural. But here’s the good news: It’s absolutely doable, especially when you focus on small, sustainable changes.
Muscle Memory Meets Mental Memory
Muscle memory isn’t just for athletes, it’s for snackers, too. Even now, after losing a significant amount of weight, I catch myself walking by the pantry and opening the door without thinking. It’s like my hand has a mind of its own. I’ll lean against the kitchen island, stare at the shelves, and then close the door without taking anything. Progress? Sure. But it’s also a reminder that old habits die hard.
The same goes for mirrors. For years, I avoided them like a vampire in a horror movie. Even now, I sometimes catch myself glancing away, not fully recognizing the healthier version of me staring back. It’s as if my brain hasn’t updated its internal software to match the new hardware.
A Call to Action
If you’re over 60 and thinking, “It’s too late for me,” let me stop you right there. It’s never too late to rewrite your story. Remember that 40% statistic from the CDC? That’s not just a number; it’s a wake-up call and a reminder that you’re far from alone. Sure, it might feel daunting to make changes at this stage of life, but the beauty of starting now is that even small adjustments can yield incredible results. You don’t have to overhaul your entire life overnight.
Start with a single step: swap out one unhealthy snack for a healthier option, trade those potato chips for some crunchy carrots or a handful of almonds. Take a 10-minute walk around your neighborhood and marvel at how quickly it becomes a habit. Drink an extra glass of water today, then two tomorrow. Each small step creates momentum, and before you know it, those tiny changes compound into a healthier, happier version of yourself.
And remember, this journey isn’t meant to be a solo expedition. Don’t underestimate the power of community. Join a group of like-minded individuals who can inspire, encourage, and hold you accountable. Whether it’s an online forum, a local fitness class, or even a few friends meeting for morning walks, the camaraderie and shared goals can be transformative.
Celebrate the wins together, no matter how small they may seem. The first time you resist that tempting treat or finish a walk without getting winded is a victory worth cheering. And when challenges arise, you’ll have a network to lean on, reminding you why you started and helping you get back on track.
Closing Thoughts
Looking back, I wish I hadn’t waited for so many Februarys to take my health seriously. I wish I’d realized sooner that every day is a chance to start fresh, not just the ones marked by calendars or milestones. If you’re reading this and thinking about making a change, don’t wait for your birthday, New Year’s Day, or next Monday. Start today. Your future self, and your family, will thank you, I am a living example. So what do you think, are you with me?
